Faith

I don't like posting entries that are in one week of each other. Makes me feel like I'm compulsive in entry writing. I figure, if it doesn't show on the xanga, then might as well write in the blog. Hahaha. Too bad I know better.

I was watching this tv show Supernatural, and I especially liked today's episode. Today's show was about how this one person (the reverend's wife) was controlling the Grim Reaper (according to folkore - the spirit who gets to determine who lives and who dies.) However, on the outside, it seems like God was acting through the reverend and healing people's illnesses. The reverend, Roy, was performing miracles on a weekly basis and one day, he heals the main character, Dean. Dean however, being the supernatural pro, saw the reaper before he was completely healed. Dean didn't feel good about it and went researching it w/ his brother, Sam. Sam and Dean figured out that every time a person was "healed", another person died. Dean also met this girl, Lila, and she has a type of brain cancer - uncurable. Lila, a strong believer, waits so many months and has so much faith, and finally one day Roy chooses her to be healed that week. However, Dean and Sam had to stop Roy's wife from controlling the reaper because God is not performing these miracles anymore, it's Roy's wife who is deciding who gets to die and who doesn't. Dean, having conflicting feelings, prevents Lila from being healed, and someone else from dying.

Nearing the end of the episode (paraphrasing):
Dean asks Sam, "We did the right then right?"
Sam says "Yah."
"It doesn't feel like it."

Later on, Lila comes to visit Dean.
Lila says, "You know...I went to go see Reverend Roy again."
"What happened?"
"Nothing. He put his hand on my head, and I didn't feel anything."
Dean, knowing that Lila is a true believer, tells her, "Must suck to have so much faith in something, and have it disappoint you like that."
Lila, looks at him and says, "You know... I really am fine with that."
"Why's that?"
"You can't always have faith only when miracles happen...you have to have it even when miracles don't happen....God works in mysterious ways."
Dean thinks about it and then says, "I know I'm not much of the praying type, but I'll pray for you."
Lila replies, "That itself is a miracle."

So it's pretty much determined that I suck at giving synopsises...but I really liked this episode for many reasons. When the show started off with Roy healing everyone, I was surprised that the director would actually be glorifying Christianity, or any other God-based religion. As the plot brews, Dean and Sam figure out that back in the day, some priests would fall to the "dark side" and practice "black magic" - which was how Roy's wife did it. So I thought it was interesting how the focus became back to "supernatural" stuff. But then the director ties in that conversation at the end, concluding that people shouldn't believe in a religion because miracles happen - rather faith in itself is the reason to believe.

So I was thinking about it a little more about the episode. That's probably why God doesn't write in the sand "I am God" or "God exists". That's probably why God doesn't tatoo on our foreheads "God lives" or whatever. There are so many mysteries in the world and universe and chances are - He intended it to be like that. And yet, agnostics and atheists all demand of Christians (and Islamists, Jewish, etc...) to prove the existence of God...

But isn't our faith the proof of God? Or do they really believe that we, crazy people, go run around the world shouting "AMEN" just because we just feel like it one day? Or maybe we were just bored to death and decided to clap our hands together, close our eyes and mumble crazy prayers? Or maybe we just suddenly cry or feel moved when we see a cross? Do people really think that Christians and other believers are just... people who belong in insane asylums?

There's always a reason for everything. We don't believe because it was a project or that it's the "in" thing to do. We believe because there's something in our hearts that tells us that there IS a God watching us. Even if one day, some guy/gal proved the Bible was a hoax...

I'd still believe.

Christianity is much more than just miracles and an ancient text binded together and sold over the world. Christianity is about faith and if one's faith were to be shaken by the lack of miracles, the falsity of the Bible, the level of brutality of life - then that is not faith. Faith is a conviction to God. Faith is what it is because God made us believe. God did more than prove to us his existence. God gave us so much more than evidence or statistics - He gave us faith.

I'm not trying to convert others with this entry (if I weren't me and I read this entry, I admit I'd think otherwise). I'm trying to explain the reason why we believe. Do you really think that we like it when we watch a person die? Do you really think that we find it funny when you scream at us, "Where's your God now?". Do you think it's some kind of joke when a kid asks us, "Why does God let good people die?" We endure as much or probably more as you or anyone else. Just cause we believe in a religion, doesn't mean we're suddenly shielded from all the pains and wounds of the world. We bruise, we hurt, we FEEL just like you do. So stop treating us as if we were clueless about the world. Stop treating us as if we only cry when we cry "Hallelujah." Not only that, stop treating us as if we were psycho evangelists - just because we refer to christian-related topics, doesn't mean we're trying to convert you. We're just sharing what we know, just how students share w/ other students what they know. So just try learn to be open minded because we do it for you too. Don't think we don't cringe when people cuss "Jesus Christ" or say jokes that back lash against our religion. We respect your lifestyle - please do so for ours.

[edit]

So I got a little upset near the end of the entry... I apologize if I offended anyone. But I still mean what I said.